I woke at 4 am and cried in Adam's arms.

I'd wanted a relationship with his mother that resembled the one I have with Marilyn, my Santa Barbara mom, or the relationship I now have with my own mother after years of hard work -- warm, filled with personal exchange, care and concern. I love him so much and I wanted that love to be reflected in the relationship I share with his family.

I'm not good at accepting things as they are. I'm always of the opinion that I can change something. In this case, though, I think I'm just going to have to learn to live with it.

It's not as though my mother-in-law is cruel or unaccepting of me. Not by a long shot. We have good conversations and smart debates. I can even drink with her and have fun doing it.

I wanted a mother figure. Maybe I need to stop crying about it and simply appreciate the mother(s) I do have.