Thursday, December 14, 2017

The truth always comes out on Facebook

I just asked who smoked and BAM! Am I ever getting responses. Mostly people seem to do it for relaxation and to defeat anxiety, but many just do it for fun. I do it for all of the above. I recently got something called Girl Scout Cookies. Man, selling Thin Mints was never so much fun.

Before that I was sadly without supply. I did have this crappy freezer-burned beef jerky that had been given away to me by a friend whose kid was just starting to break into the fridge. Since I figured I would never be with child, I accepted it gladly.

One night I was texting with The Dude and he could tell I thought I was hilarious. Then I told him why I thought that.

You. Crack. Me. Up. 

Something I miss is that I never had to be anything but myself. I mean, he could be a picky and critical son of a bitch, but I always felt so much myself around him. Just purely on the level of friendship, that was amazing.

When we met

Adam and I met in July 2002 when I came home from living in the Czech Republic. Technically he was my editor, but only technically. We were very different but shared a sense of humor, and we quickly grew to be friends. He was the sweet Jewish boy who also drove a convertible and liked getting bagels in the morning. He always left for the day without saying goodbye. I knew I was in trouble once I noticed that.

The nice Jewish boy had a girlfriend. Long-term, live-in. It didn't stop the feelings from building, the fights from happening. Two and one-half years in we found ourselves hissing fuck you at each other over the phone. If you haven't heard Adam say fuck you, you should. It's cute.

Three weeks of silence followed, some of the hardest moments of my life. I got drunk at MFA parties and made an asshole out of myself. I cried in front of my ancient computer, waiting for the emails that never came.

I sold my car.

He broke up.

We were reunited and making out at Raleigh's Bar on Telegraph. It burned down and was later recreated almost to a T. Our secret spot under the dartboard never came back to life. It remained ours, forever.

Because I still can’t sleep

I’m convinced that half of life is driving around and crying. The rest is nachos.

As the great Afroman once said: You like that shit? I got a gang of that shit. And I guarantee if I don’t sleep, there will be more to come.

Insomnia and the dumb Facebook meme

Marriages.......... 1
Proposals ..........1
Children...... 1
Pets right now.... 2
Surgeries ..... 3
Tattoos ..... 0
Piercings.... 2 in each ear
Shot a gun ......... nope
Quit a job ...... yes
Ever been on tv.......yes
Been to an island...... yes
Flown on a plane ......... duh.
Hit a deer........ nope
Someone cried over you...... yup
Fallen in love ....... absolutely
Watched someone die .... yes
Ridden in an ambulance... no, and don’t want to
Sang karaoke.... yes
Ice skating ..... of course
Been surfing... hell no, if I did I’d be dead
Been on a Cruise... a Tom Cruise? Sorrowfully, no, not a real
cruise either.
Ridden on a motorcycle... you betcha!
Ridden a horse.... yep
Almost died.... not so’s I know. That’s because I don’t surf.
Stayed in a hospital.... yes
Favorite fruit... your uncle
Favorite vegetable... your mom
Favorite dessert... See above
Still talk to your first love... in a sense.
Morning or Night.... yup
Favorite color.... magenta
Last Phone conversation.... With a client. Video call no less.
Last text.. Fuckface.
Soulmates are real?.... too much so.

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Vesuvio, North Beach

I want to tell you the story behind this picture, but I can't. Not yet.

Meanwhile, I'm digging these lyrics to The Lumineers' "Cleopatra":

I was Cleopatra, I was young and an actress
When you knelt by my mattress, and asked for my hand
But I was sad you asked it, as I laid in a black dress
With my father in a casket, I had no plans, yeah
And I left the footprints, the mud stained on the carpet
And it hardened like my heart did when you left town
But I must admit it, that I would marry you in an instant
Damn your wife, I'd be your mistress just to have you around
But I was late for this, late for that, late for the love of my life
And when I die alone, when I die alone, when I die I'll be on time
While the church discouraged, any lust that burned within me
Yes my flesh, it was my currency, but I held true
So I drive a taxi, and the traffic distracts me
From the strangers in my backseat, they remind me of you
But I was late for this, late for that, late for the love of my life
And when I die alone, when I die alone, when I die I'll be on time
And the only gifts from my Lord were a birth and a divorce
But I've read this script and the costume fits, so I'll play my part
I was Cleopatra, I was taller than the rafters
But that's all in the past now, gone with the wind
Now a nurse in white shoes leads me back to my guestroom
It's a bed and a bathroom
And a place for the end
I won't be late for this, late for that, late for the love of my life
And when I die alone, when I die alone, when I die I'll be on time