I've been struggling. Nothing feels right. Nothing feels like it fits. I'm restless and exhausted at the same time. Jesus Christ, are the holidays done?
Saturday, November 27, 2021
Sunday, November 21, 2021
From above you see nothing and everything. I once read that about the Zizkov Television Tower in Prague – it’s an ugly-ass building for sure and also, at 700 feet high, the Czech Republic’s tallest building. All that work to create a view and what happens? It half-fails.
But the successful half is glorious. I’ve never been to Prague, so I can’t say, but I am an expert on this part of the world, the glory of the Northern California coast. The sweep of the ocean. The swath of the trees. The trails of me and what I’ve created, what I continue to create.
It’s that overhead shot, you know, the long view.
I’m the wildfire, but call me Freddy. It’s friendlier.
WILDFIRE (FREDDY) IS A MIX BETWEEN END OF BIG LEBOWSKI AND BIRD FROM TELEGRAPH AVENUE. LOTS OF PHILOSOPHY ABOUT THE THREE THREADS: COVID, CLIMATE CHANGE, AND HUMAN CONNECTION. ABSOLUTELY NO EASY ANSWERS.
Sunday, November 14, 2021
My departure could have been the dictionary definition for awkward. After Kelly cut me down, I just sat there for a minute, absorbing the shards. I could still taste her in my mouth, smell her on my skin, and yet she was already busy pushing me away. There are words for that, but the first one that comes to my mind is bitch.
What in the hell drew me so strongly to them?
Thing is, I don’t have to ask the question. I just know. I can’t answer in words; it was more like the feeling that I got when I was around them. Like I’d known them from somewhere else, or if I hadn’t, that I somehow wanted to know them. The draw was different with each of them. With Danny it was more sexual, more located between the legs. With Kelly it was something different, more complex, something straddling the line between love and loathing. I wanted both to get to know her and to spit in her face, and that had nothing to do with any sort of jealousy surrounding Danny. It was that low-level tension that two people – usually two women – get between each other. You can’t run from it, even if you can’t always resolve it.