Tuesday, February 26, 2019

True believers

I applied for a freelance copywriter position and was asked not only to do free work, but to purchase their product in the name of writing the review. I'm going to put their name out there: Puracy. I want people to know that either these are scam artists or the type of true believers that think everyone should love their product and want to buy it. Either way, avoid.

Sunday, February 17, 2019

Out of Dodge

Going to Sac for the night. It's such a weird roller coaster, leaving even for this brief amount of time. I'm learning to just hold on and go with the experience.

Monday, February 11, 2019

Lady Bird

I thought this movie sucked for so many reasons, but let's focus on its boring and formulaic (and, frankly, offensive) treatment of the heavy girl. OF COURSE she's the sidekick. OF COURSE she's obsessed with food and weight. OF COURSE she can't be any sort of romantic interest except for the creepy teacher who nonetheless brushes her off.

I've been heavier and I've been thinner. I'm on that latter end now, but I'll still never be a small girl. And Greta Gerwig ... fuck you.

Sunday, February 10, 2019

Cafe la Boheme

I'm sitting next to these two Alcoholics Anonymous guys. I know not because they said it, but because they're talking about God and the seventh step and all this bullshit. There's something about them too, something that on the surface looks clean but really is just a filter covering something even more rotten.

He was an AA guy. Had been for years. He was an AA guy, nearly a decade sober when he tried to use alcohol to get me to come back to his house with him because his girlfriend was out of town, when we sat at Vesuvio and I'd gone outside to call Adam -- who at 8:30 was already pissed because I was already drunk and almost certainly going to be home late -- and I came back in and he'd ordered me a third Death in the Afternoon. "Drink it," he said.

"Fuck you," I said, and had a single sip.

Tuesday, February 5, 2019


Nails, my mother, the person who cried into the void and gave me life, said. She said it like it was the world’s most important thing, and to her maybe it was. She wore an oversized sweatshirt and leggings, like Flashdance was about to call and ask for its outfit back. She looked at me like I was one of those dust motes shimmering in an irritating way, just something else she would ask Elvira, our maid, to wipe away from the balcony.
“Let me tell you,” she said, and you just knew she was about to lay down the intel. “You may never get that chance again.”

I know this was supposed to hurt. I was aware that it was an insult. I was supposed to find a sweet dark corner and lay down my head and cry for all the opportunities missed because I was not only a dork, but an ugly dork.
Instead I felt amazing. Matt? He wanted me. It was obvious. He took Tina as a consolation prize, but somewhere along the way he knew he wanted me. He couldn’t just leave this alone. He couldn’t let me be. He was going to keep worrying it like the dogs at the shelter gnawed after their frozen Kongs. Difference was that they eventually get their peanut butter. Him, he got nothing.

Finally, I was sure of it.

Teaching at The Writing Salon

Thrilled to be teaching a class there this spring!

Sunday, February 3, 2019

What do you keep private about your child?

As I watch Baz sleep, I'm thinking about how I write about him. I put up a lot of pictures and stories, both here and elsewhere, but what do I keep off the internet? I'm still sussing that out, but as he grows older and he is more able to express himself, I will have a better idea of how to balance this.

Oh, who am I kidding? When he's 14, I'm sure he'll go through periods of not speaking to me. It's inevitable.

What I've learned from freelancing

You have to use your time to your advantage. If one client is asking a lot for a little and another is more reasonable, you have to shift to what's going to work for you. There are plenty of people who want diamond work for plastic earnings.

It's up to you to determine how best to make your money, but I'm learning more and more that boundaries are the way not only to pay the rent, but to be happy when doing it.