Friday, August 28, 2015

The Emperor's New Clothes

I will live by my own policies
I will sleep with a clear conscience
I will sleep in peace

- Sinead O'Connor

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Pink and blue belts

Twice a week I go to Alta Bates Summit Medical Center for non-stress testing and a once-weekly ultrasound. I guess that's what you get when you're a 41-year-old mother-to-be with two surgeries in the past and a pre-existing condition at the ready.

The pink and blue belts go around your stomach. One secures a fetal heart monitor, the other an activity monitor. The nurses are sweet. They encourage you to put your feet up and they bring you water. They joke with you too. It helps.

The ultrasound techs are fun too. They print out glossy pictures. If you're anything like me, you text the ones showing off the scrotal sac to your husband. If you're anything like him, you bitch that they haven't measured The Business.

If you were me today, you cried. Just a little bit. Just a few happy tears.

Friday, August 14, 2015

Something to remember

Last night Adam lay with his head on my stomach listening to Poppy hiccup. I don't think I've quite grasped the emotional significance of that.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Cutest motherfucker on the block

Put this on Facebook just now

Love has always come to me with a hard right hook.

When I first met Adam, I didn't look at him as a potential romantic partner. First he was a coworker, then a friend, then a best friend, and only after years did we try our hand at a relationship.

Our dogs came to us in a time of intense grief. Oliver had passed away and although we knew we would eventually have room in our hearts and lives for dogs, we had no idea that a week after saying goodbye to him we would be holding two five-week-old puppies in our laps and saying yes, we will. Three weeks later we were carrying them down our front pathway, smiling at each other as though we'd just been gotten hit with something huge and heavy.

When I found out that I was pregnant, the shock was smooth and cool. It wasn't until weeks later that I found myself sobbing with disbelief.

But we're doing this. Oh. My. God.

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Mendocino Coast Writers Conference

I just spent an amazing three days at the Mendocino Coast Writers Conference, where I learned a ton from master class leader David Corbett and my incredible workshop-mates. I haven't had so much fun talking writing in way too long, and in an incredible setting to boot. I was also honored to be the recipient of the Ginny Rorby YA Scholarship Award! I'm tired today, but it was beyond worth it!


Sunday, August 2, 2015


Marcus, Pi Wen, Kristen, Sean, and Maya surprised us this morning with a celebration of family, friends and life's transitions at Paisan. They got us the most amazing gifts and just generally made us feel awesome. So touching.