The trenches

Up at 2 a.m. with a sick little guy, watching The Great British Baking Show and eating peanut butter toast, listening to the rain. If these are the trenches, then the trenches aren't so bad.

Four years ago

I found out.

I took one test, then two, then a third.

I called Adam. "Well," he said. "That was unexpected." We laughed.

Six months

Honor Bar last night

Sometimes

I wonder if I'm doing it all wrong.

How I've changed

I used to treat my friends like my kids. Adam once said: "You mom all your friends." I laughed, but it was also true.

Now I am a parent. I have a 3-year-old son and two rambunctious 8-year-old dogs. They are the only ones who get the mom treatment. I expect anyone I'm friends with to be adults. Otherwise they get dropped.

This, at 4 a.m.

Realization, two

One of the biggest parts of whatever legacy I leave behind is sleeping right now with his Tahoe Bear and his Maizie dog.

Us

Sausalito

Reversal

Philz Coffee, Oakland, CA.

Thoughts

There is something about writing your own shit. There is a feeling of fulfillment you cannot get anywhere else.

That's it for now, I guess. 

We're in the Chron!

Check it out!

This morning's writing

Uh. Mah. Gawd. Was I really going down this rabbit hole of romance? It wasn’t happening at all the way I always thought it might. I mean, I never thought it would happen at all. I figured I was going to be one of these women with longing in their eyes and too many pets and plants in their crowded living rooms, hoping without much hope. It was the kind of life where you were always watching others as they sat together at tables, in movie theaters, in moving cars where they may be laughing or may be fighting or may be locked in their own silences, saying nothing at all, thinking of other people, but still. They were together. They had someone.

Today's Daily OM

We are multidimensional beings and our earthly aspects are a very small part of who we are.

Many of us are familiar with the experience of waking up to the fact that our lives are no longer working the way we have set them up. Sometimes this is due to a shift occurring inside ourselves over time, and sometimes it is part of the larger shift that is currently affecting all humanity. Change is happening at such an increased rate that it is difficult to predict what the future holds. As a result, many of the old ways of planning out a life are no longer applicable, and if we cling to them we feel strangely out of tune with reality. If we are in tune with the energies around us, we will begin to question ideas that just a few years ago seemed sensible. 

In the simplest terms, the shift we are undergoing right now has to do with recognizing ourselves as being more than human, remembering that our earthly aspects are a very small part of who we are. In truth, we are multidimensional beings. When we begin to realize this, the life we planned for a limited conception of ourselves no longer fits. We must meet the needs and qualifications not only of our bodies but also of our souls. This realization dawns slowly for some and with the suddenness of a bolt of lightning for others, and we all must find the way that works for us to integrate this new and larger sense of self into our life plan. 

Sometimes a drastic change feels totally right, and overnight we might decide to sell our home and move to another country or quit our job and begin a second career. Other times, we allow the changes to proceed slowly, beginning perhaps with allowing ourselves to dream of a new life or just to ask the deeper questions that encourage us to discover our true purpose in life. Either way, know that this process is a natural sign of the growth we are all going through, and trust it to guide you to the life of your dreams.

Studio, Costa Rica, 2006

Geetar

January 8, 2019

Berkeley Espresso, Berkeley, CA

January 7, 2019

Philz Coffee, downtown Lafayette, CA.

January 6, 2019

Peet's Coffee, Berkeley, CA.

January 5, 2019

Algorithm Coffee, Berkeley.

January 4, 2019

Caffe Greco, San Francisco. 

January 2, 2019

Home: 1529 Harmon Street, Berkeley, CA.

January 1, 2019

Pegasus Books, Berkeley, CA.