Friday, May 30, 2025

Today's writing

I’m taking an InterCity train. I’ve coughed up the crowns to do it and it’s worth the money. Instead of the somewhat claustrophobic compartments there are actual seats, with newspapers on them no less. Kind of classy, this. It’s 10 in the morning, that golden hour when you’re still leaving somewhat early, but you have the chance at having no one next to you. There is no one next to me. I like this. I need my space. Personal space is something that differs from culture to culture. Later I’ll go to Japan and marvel at the way I can be at someone’s elbow and still have them not notice me. Meanwhile I’ll come back to the United States and roll my eyes at the way Americans occupy space like no one else upon this land: open, direct, unashamed. We walk this earth not just like we own it, but as a matter of fact. It’s a message to others, a warning. 

Maybe the Germans were the same. Maybe they believed they were entitled to occupy more space than your average person, particularly Jews, homosexuals, activists of all stripes. It makes no sense. I mean, who the fuck decides? The same type of people who chose to slam planes into buildings? 

Maybe the world belongs to those who move faster, decide first. 

The train is moving now, creeping at first, rocky, then picking up rhythm, giving me a blur outside my window. Quickly we leave the buildings behind; the city is now but a memory, something that happened to me rather than is happening. You think about these niceties when you teach English. Students will quiz you on it. They’re learning to play by the rules. You never did. You don’t know how and you have no interest in finding out.

Thursday, May 29, 2025

Picture from 2012, words from yesterday

"You're getting on my nerves," I said. "Maybe you can just leave me alone." 

"Okay," he said. "I'll go upstairs. I love you."



Wednesday, May 21, 2025

Saturday, May 17, 2025

Inspired

I did a masterclass with Tommy Orange at the Mechanics Institute today. Damn, I feel good. Ready to rock and roll. 

2017

We'd just come from the $5 buffet at the Gold Club. Aw yeah.



He's beautiful

 


Up early

I've lost so many people. Haven't we all? They are our true ghosts. 

On the Czech Republic

I try to fool myself into thinking that it’s for the opportunity to check out places I’ve never been before – CafĂ© Slavia, for example, near the National Theatre. It’s supposed to be legendary. I might as well check it off my list before I leave – and whether I want to admit it, that’s only a few months away. July, to be precise. It’s April now, with spring pushing blossoms through branches. The trees, bare when I first started taking the train in January, are now topped with green. They’re filling out. In a way, so am I; I realize I’m growing all the time here, that these months are keener and richer than most I’ve previously experienced. Richer, however, does not mean happier.

Thursday, May 15, 2025

Politics did it

But it was much more than that. I think there was tension that built up and built up and built to the point of explosion. Not to mention that he had become very right-wing (though he'd deny it, so maybe I'm wrong, who knows) and was of the opinion that what's going on in the world would have no effect on either of us.

He was wrong.

Tuesday, May 13, 2025

Solipsistic

Most writing is. But Goddamn if I don't love writing. Everyone I've ever fallen for has been able to discuss it pretty damn well. I need that quality in a partner.

I truly believe this

It's entirely possible to miss someone and not want them back in your life. Relationships often have a season; those pass and are gone, sometimes temporarily, sometimes forever. It's something to remember. 

Tired

Life is life-ing. That's what Chris said today when I met her to do some writing. I'd never heard that phrase and I like it. It describes what I work with on a daily basis. It so often feels like there are a million things going on, and I hate being busy. Hate it. I feel that I don't have time for myself, though I know I do. Maybe I need more time. Maybe I just need more.

Monday, May 5, 2025

Marcus

You're the bourgeois hippie
The introverted social butterfly
The people pleasing provocateur

Saturday, May 3, 2025

From the YouTube comments on Writing Your Resilience

A great interview and window into an arresting writer. While listening to Allison's responses to your questions, I was struck by just how articulate she is. And yes, she responds with notable ease and clarity and is articulate in the conventional sense, but she is also emotionally and psychologically articulate. This is very rich material she is sharing with us, buth here and in her book.