Yesterday's writing

I said what? I said what now? Oh man. Six months in and I’m telling her I love her. I mean, I know it. I feel it. I experience it every day when I wake up to her morning breath, when I kiss her neck while she’s doing dishes, while we’re together in bed. But knowing it and saying it are two very different things. If I’ve learned anything from being with women, I’ve learned this. Once you lay down the love you, things change. Expectations arise. The whole program shifts. I’m trying to figure out how to explain it. Maybe I don’t even have to. But I’ll try: love you means that you’re going to be reliably home at night, that you’re going to be as subtle as possible when checking out other women, that you’ll hold them when they cry even – especially – when they’re being completely unreasonable. Love you is an enjoinment, a chain. A pretty chain to be sure, but make no mistake: It’s a chain nonetheless. And its links are damn strong.