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Sunday, October 19, 2025
From Conflagration
When I took the pregnancy test that told me Jax was a thing, I was praying to some sort of nonsectarian god, an equal-opportunity deity, but what I wanted was almost beyond me. It was the very act of emotionally kneeling, of hoping. In a way you always want these tests to be positive, two lines moving your life in a new direction when God knows you can’t do it yourself.
Mindfulness Cards
It may seem counterintuitive to pay attention to uncomfortable sensations, but doing so can be liberating. Our natural first reaction when we feel something uncomfortable -- like muscle tension, or a slight headache, or a difficult emotion -- is to get rid of it immediately, either by moving our attention elsewhere or by trying to fix the problem. But when we decide to meet the uncomfortable area in an open, relaxed way, we can build our composure and even find that what we we thought was uncomfortable becomes totally tolerable. Next time a twinge of discomfort arises, try giving it 2 minutes of your nonjudgmental awareness. Just sit with it, noticing the sensation, and breathing through it. Please only do this when it feels safe and never intentionally create difficult sensations for this exercise.
Thursday, October 16, 2025
Editing Conflagration
Man, this is hard. I want to take an axe to it -- it's what I'm used to. But what I need to do requires a scalpel. Delicate work that in cooking competitions would require tweezers. That's hard.
Break it down. Break it down.
Saturday, October 11, 2025
"Mindfulness Cards: Simple Practices for Everyday Life"
Posture is important. The physical shape with which we meet the world can have a big impact on how we feel and how we act. Nothing embodies the ideals of mindfulness better than the combination of a straight back and a soft belly. The straight back encourages alertness and brightness, and the soft belly fosters a sense of relaxation and openness. Practice this position by bringing your attention to your posture several times a day -- when you're brushing your teeth or waiting for a bus. Notice how mindful posture impacts how you meet whatever comes your way.
Wednesday, October 8, 2025
Sunday, October 5, 2025
More AHOJ
Teaching. You’re learning, and not for the last time, that it’s a skill you’ll always hone. There is never going to be a time when you say I’m done, I’ve learned what I need to learn, nothing more to try. The best things are that way. Not that you’ll always love teaching; it’s a little too much like caretaking, to be honest. But here’s the thing: you’re good at it. You reflexively understand the most vital elements: taking the temperature of the group, realizing what needs to be addressed, dropping the parts that don’t matter. Sometimes you just tear up the lesson plan and go to it. Sometimes you take a moment to pause and reflect. They’ll stay with you. Trust that.
Friday, October 3, 2025
From AHOJ
Marie laughs. A second later she’s gone. What’s with the kids vaporizing today? I glance at my colleagues, but they don’t seem to notice anything amiss. That’s culture shock in a nutshell, friends. That’s the everyday what-the-fuck of living in a place that isn’t simply foreign geographically, but also to one’s heart, soul, and mentality. Prepare to spend more time than you might have imagined shaking your head.
Nappy Roots, "Good Day"
Let's begin now
You know today I just woke up and I saidYou know instead of waitin' on a good dayWaitin' around through ups and downs waitin'On something to happen I just say
We're gonna haveWe're gonna haveWe're gonna have a good dayAnd all my homies gonna ride todayAnd all these mommies look fly todayAnd all we wanna do is get by todayHeyWe're gonna have a good dayAnd ain't nobody gotta cry today'Cause ain't nobody gonna die todaySave that drama for another dayHey, we're gonna have a good day
Hairline fresh, new cologne onFeelin' so good changed the color to my phoneOrange Kool-Aid go good with PatronA naw hell naw boy still my ring tonesFree car wash had to clean up the DodgeGet back when I can just playin' my part
Church folk had a fish fryMustard, hot sauce, light bread, and french friesLove for the big guyHit the park, boys showin' off their hopsNappy Roots on the radio and you know it bopsLast night I hit the pick tree bought some Air Force OnesFour tall tees, man I love the B.G.
We're gonna haveWe're gonna haveWe're gonna have a good dayAnd all my homies gonna ride todayAnd all these mommies look fly todayAnd all we wanna do is get by todayHeyWe're gonna have a good dayAnd ain't nobody gotta cry today'Cause ain't nobody gonna die todaySave that drama for another dayHey, we're gonna have a good day
We're gonna have a good dayAnd I finna worry 'bout what nobody sayI'm still above ground that's the reason I prayGot my car cleaned up now I'm ready to playMake call to the sticks say I'm headin' dat wayHeard my cousin cookin' out I gotta get me a plateGot this new outfit ain't even out in the states
So if I ain't speakin' too soon but this is a hell of a dayAnd the sticky got me sittin' in a hell of a placeGot my stunna shades on and grin on my faceMy grill looks mean but I swear I'm straightAnd the hood showin' love so I'm A-OK
We're gonna haveWe're gonna haveWe're gonna have a good dayAnd all my homies gonna ride todayAnd all these mommies look fly todayAnd all we wanna do is get by todayHeyWe're gonna have a good dayAnd ain't nobody gotta cry today'Cause ain't nobody gonna die todaySave that drama for another dayHey, we're gonna have a good day
We might as well do exactly what the children sayin'Take a day off hit park and just hangBarbecue, roll a few, and put up your deuceIf it's beef put down the peace up and put on your dukesIt's time to change our waysSo we can save the dayFor the children's sake and make a better place to play
And if it's all good break out your click and grip your woodAnd if you ridin' dirty just light your swift and blow your s-But do it real big exactly like a player shouldEnjoy your 24's do your thang and rep your hoodThe world is all yoursBut still we all bound foreverIn a day the choice you make is really all fine
We're gonna haveWe're gonna haveWe're gonna have a good dayAnd all my homies gonna ride todayAnd all these mommies look fly todayAnd all we wanna do is get by todayHeyWe're gonna have a good dayAnd ain't nobody gotta cry today'Cause ain't nobody gonna die todaySave that drama for another dayHey, we're gonna have a good day
And all my homies gonna ride todayAnd all these mommies look fly todayAnd all we wanna do is get by todayHeyWe're gonna have a good dayAnd ain't nobody gotta cry today'Cause ain't nobody gonna die todayYou can save that drama for another dayHey, we're gonna have a good day
A dream fulfilled
I was going through my emails from late January and early February 2015. Shock receding into thrill. I was unexpectedly pregnant. A dream fulfilled.
I realize now -- and have for a long time, actually -- that I would have done anything to keep him. Adam wasn't sure that he was okay with it. I thought, well, then I'll leave. And I was -- and remain -- as in love as I ever was.
It's so hard to have perspective on parenthood because it's always up in your face. Like yesterday, when we were at the library trying to convince him to do his homework. I walked away several times to "check the new books" -- but really just to recover my equanimity.
Moments like this, early enough that he hasn't woken up yet to watch Diary of a Wimpy Kid before school, are when I understand the massiveness -- and the love -- of this undertaking.
Wednesday, October 1, 2025
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