Tuesday, July 21, 2009

I've come to a place of peace when it comes to the rift with Adam's family -- in particular, his mother. She has not spoken directly to me for more than six months and has had barely any contact with him as well.

She's missing out.

This all came about because I wrote her an email regarding what I saw as a growing rift. The basic jist of the email: We may never be best friends, but can we work together to be comfortable with each other because we both love Adam?

Her response: Stop putting a wedge between him and his family. When I got that response, I practically threw the computer across the room. I couldn't imagine how a response like that could come of what I'd written. I felt as though I'd extended an olive branch and been beaten with it.

I've been largely silent with it on a public level (blog, Facebook, etc.) because I felt anything I said would make things worse. I don't feel that way any more. I just hope that Adam has the relationship with his family that he would like to have, whether it is now or in the future. As for me, I have a family of my own and while I would've loved to be close with my in-laws, the only thing I care about now when it comes to this is Adam's happiness.


Sean Craven said...


You have done the best that you could in order to deal with the situation.

If that's the response you get, it's out of your hands. The best you can do is to avoid making things worse. Aside from that, it's your mother-in-law's problem.


Not yours.

Not Adams.

Be supportive of his desires to keep in contact with his family. And aI know you will. But the thing is this...

You are the one Adam chose to be with. From what I know of the situation, he did not make that decision carelessly.

And if you stay out of the center of the conflict, it will be a matter of what Adam's mother wants and what Adam wants.

I think the outcome is quite predictable.

Allison Landa said...

Thanks, dude. (I say that to you a lot, huh? It's deserved.) It's not as I'd wanted it to be, but I've come to terms with it, and I'm proud of that at least.

Family means so much to me, and I'd wanted to be close to Adam's. If it's not in the cards, though, I'll be just fine.