Some Bay Areans celebrate whenever there's major news -- just more reason to push their own political platform, as seen here in SF Gate's 2 Cents. My favorite is Michele Simon's response: "No. How sad that this is the main concern. Why not ask how we could better spend those millions of dollars on public transit instead of repairing a system that perpetuates driving and global warming? Was the irony that the truck was carrying gasoline lost on everyone?"

Michele, sweetheart, just answer the question and then you'll get your Tofutti Cutie.

Diversity fatigue

An interesting column by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman.

The freeway collapsed today -- wow. Damn good thing no one was killed, and that only the dude speeding way too fast was hurt.

There's more than one answer to these questions
Pointing in a crooked line
And the less I seek my source for something definitive
Closer I am to fine

- Indigo Girls

I was talking to Adam on the phone earlier today, just cracking up and laughing. He always brings out the best in me.

Flashback to FRIGID

Memories. Scroll down for a very nice shoutout to me.

Black Horse and the Cherry Tree

A memory. A first night in Antigua. A place called Cafe 2000, flashing lights, drinks, comfortable couches. A large screen. KT Tunstall. I feel I can conquer it. It, meaning anything.

Selling The Farm

As a writing sample for a potential client, I was asked to pitch the place where I live -- in a two-minute version as well as a four-minute. I was amused by the result:

Two-minute version:

Down a lighted pathway and past a picket fence, your new home is waiting. Located at 2214 ½ Grant Street in the heart of dynamic Berkeley, Calif., this one-bedroom, one-bath cottage offers hardwood floors and upgraded appliances throughout. The completely revamped kitchen features a gas stove and stainless steel refrigerator, plus brand-new maple cabinetry and slate countertops in addition to a stackable washer and dryer. A spacious bedroom can easily accommodate a king-sized bed with room to spare, and a well-appointed living room and eat-in kitchen are ideal for entertaining family and friends.

Original baseboards and moldings add design appeal, while high ceilings accentuate this unique cottage’s generous square footage. Each lovely wood-framed window provides views of the surrounding greenery, and the front porch is a perfect place to relax in a rocking chair and take in the sunset at day’s end.

Step through the sliding-glass door in the bedroom or from a side door off the well-appointed kitchen, and you’ll find yourself in a peaceful backyard oasis. A newly built redwood deck is perfectly sized for outdoor seating, as well as a barbeque, and there’s plenty of room for you to create your own home garden.

This cottage is not just rich in charm and character – it also has a touching history. For two decades, the cottage at 2214 ½ Grant Street was a preschool known as McGee’s Farm. You’ll find them in the cottage’s vibrant color scheme as well as on the front door, which features a hand-painted zebra illustrated by a prominent Berkeley muralist whose child attended the preschool.

Walk down that pathway. Unlatch that gate. Come home to 2214 ½ Grant Street, a heartfelt home waiting for you to add your own colorful imprint.

Four-minute version:

Down a lighted pathway and past a picket fence, your new home is waiting. Located at 2214 ½ Grant Street in the heart of dynamic Berkeley, Calif., this one-bedroom, one-bath cottage offers hardwood floors and upgraded appliances throughout. The completely revamped kitchen features a gas stove and stainless steel refrigerator, plus brand-new maple cabinetry and slate countertops in addition to a stackable washer and dryer. A spacious bedroom can easily accommodate a king-sized bed with room to spare, and a well-appointed living room and eat-in kitchen are ideal for entertaining family and friends.

Original baseboards and moldings add design appeal, while high ceilings accentuate this unique cottage’s generous square footage. Each lovely wood-framed window provides views of the surrounding greenery, and the front porch is a perfect place to relax in a rocking chair and take in the sunset at day’s end.

Step through the sliding-glass door in the bedroom or from a side door off the well-appointed kitchen, and you’ll find yourself in a peaceful backyard oasis. A newly built redwood deck is perfectly sized for an outdoor seat as well as a barbeque, and there’s plenty of room for you to create your own home garden.

This cottage is not just rich in charm and character – it also has a touching history. For two decades, the cottage at 2214 ½ Grant Street was a preschool known as McGee’s Farm. Today, whimsical touches from that time abound. You’ll find them in the cottage’s vibrant color scheme as well as on the front door, which features a hand-painted zebra illustrated by a prominent Berkeley muralist whose child attended the preschool.

Ideally located in central Berkeley, this adorable cottage is an easy walk to many of the San Francisco Bay Area’s top dining, shopping, and cultural destinations – including the historic Chez Panisse, where California cuisine was born, as well as the renowned Berkeley Repertory Theater. The University of California’s flagship campus is a mere 15 minutes on foot, as is the Bay Area Rapid Transit subway, providing easy access to San Francisco.

A gem of a community, Berkeley is a one-of-the-kind mix of the intellectual, the progressive, and the delightfully offbeat. You can while away afternoons at the Berkeley Marina or sprawling Tilden Park, or just bike or stroll through the city’s many leafy neighborhoods. Berkeley is renowned for its diversity, its tolerance, and its commitment to tranquil, high-quality living in an exquisite climate. Its 12 elementary schools, and three middle schools are award-winning, and Berkeley High School has a well-earned reputation for academic excellence. Don’t miss this opportunity to live in the heart of this outstanding community.

Walk down that pathway. Unlatch that gate. Come home to 2214 ½ Grant Street, a heartfelt home waiting for you to add your own colorful imprint.

Cue Jesse Jackson

Kiss it! Ap-ol-o-gize!

Shame on you, Russell Simmons. Censoring the word does not remove the sentiment.

Happy Earth Day

Had a great bike ride around Alameda. An hour covers much of this flat, easy-to-navigate island. Very cool.

I'm going to open a cafe. It's going to be called Cafe Manners. In that cafe, here will be the rules:

- Take your cell-phone calls outside or make them quick and quiet.
- If you're a 40-year-old dude, don't go hitting on the 20-year-old baristas. Bad juju all the way around.
- If your kids are being bratty, leave them at home. Yes, home. Where you and your bratty kids should be. Geez, people.

"Like a string of little jewels, one upon another, came the stories of priceless lives cut short: Alameddine, Bishop, Bluhm, Clark, Cloyd, Couture-Nowak, Granata, Gwaltney, Hammaren, Herbstritt, Hill, Hilscher, Lane, La Porte, Lee, Librescu, Loganathan, Lumbantoruan, McCain, O'Neil, Ortiz, Panchal, Perez Cueva, Peterson, Pohle, Pryde, Read, Samaha, Shaalan, Sherman, Turner, White."

It's this kind of overdramatic writing that calls attention away from the story and to itself as writing. Washington Post, I thought you could do better.

For the last couple of days Adam and I have been wrangling over the idea that there's been so much attention put on this story, when so many others are dying around the world. At first, I thought arguing that point was self-righteous. But it's so true -- when do the people who die in Iraq, or most anywhere else for that matter, get this kind of soppy print ministry?

Good writing

Two very level-headed takes on Virginia Tech this morning:

Jon Carroll

Debra Saunders

This makes sense to me

From the NYT forums:

I am already tired of our society’s constant search to find blame.

I have read articles blaming:

1.Professors who did not follow-up enough
2.Writing faculty who did not censure enough
3.Police who followed the wrong lead
4.The university for not calling for a lock down
5.The NRA for promoting gun ownership
6.Counselors who did not force Cho into treatment
7.Universities for being too open and too free
8.Gun dealers for failing to note that Cho had received mental health treatment
9.Women who were harassed but didn’t press charges
10.Parents who did not identify Cho’s unstable behavior.

Come on! Let’s place the blame where it belongs. With the 23 year old MAN (just because he was a student does not make him a kid!) who chose to plan a massacre. He bought the guns and ammo. He lied on the background check form at the gun shop. He sought out his victims. He mailed documents to NBC. He shot each of the victims.

Now is the time for us to take a lesson from our Amish neighbors, who moved on with peace, forgiveness, and integrity.

— Posted by mary

Going Bridal

Great site.

My favorite part is the BrideAudit -- "Don't let your guests stiff you!" According to the BrideAudit, my entitlement factor is severely lacking.

Years ago, my college roommate fired me as one of her bridesmaids. The faults broke down like this:

- I should have told her when she asked me to be a bridesmaid that I couldn't afford it and didn't feel comfortable in the role, instead of waiting until a few months before the wedding to finally buck up and break it to her.
- She should've been gracious about it. She wasn't.

As the child of divorced parents who had a huge wedding, I don't get the emphasis on the ceremony versus the meaning of it all. I probably never will. Fortunately, I'm marrying someone who feels the same.

The Open Book and the struggle to stay in business

Adam and I were coming back from Chico and drove through Sacramento. I remembered that there was a gay and lesbian bookstore (one of the few I knew of) at J and 21st -- but no longer. The Open Book has closed.

From one of the former owners: "We're just not the new thing in town anymore," he added. "Here's what I mean: We live in south Sacramento. As long as we keep the lawn mowed and pay our association dues, nobody cares that we're gay. I guess some of our former customers kind of feel the same way."

Every up has its down. Interesting that greater acceptance means less business -- and, perhaps, a little less excitement.

Juliette

French food in Brooklyn. Williamsburg. Something's gotten us to this moment but all we can do is watch the snow, the cars, the wind. All we can do is laugh. All I can do is eat the rare steak in front of me, wrap my fingers around the wine glass, adjust to the diamond circle that is forever.

Random

Now this guy is a douchebag. Particularly given his own "monkeyfishing" crap.

RIP, Kurt Vonnegut.

Everything old is boring again

Apparently someone I worked on the Daily Nexus with at UCSB is now at the St. Mary's MFA program. Sophie told me that he saw me at a party a while ago and couldn't figure out why I wasn't talking to him.

Supposedly he thought I was angry with him. Fact is, I didn't even recognize him and wouldn't have had much to say if I did. When she told me his name I was like -- oh yeah. I remember him. He was just kind of a dorky poser. A few years ago I googled Yelles' name and came up with some smarmy crap this guy and a bunch of other ex-Nexites were writing. A bunch of white wannabe rappers. The most clever thing about it was the name.

Would Patti's stand for this?

When my '89 Corolla starts feeling poorly, I take her to the excellent Patti's Auto Care in Berkeley. Patti's fair and straight-up and I've never had a problem with her work.

Patti ain't cheap, but she's also fair. I've never tried to argue her out of her money or talk her down in price.

When I look at freelance opportunities, I give it the Patti Test: Would I try to pull this over on Patti?

Something tell me that girlfriend wouldn't go for the ad below. Gee, Patti, do my oil for free and if I like your work, I might just hire you. Right.

need writers for web site

---

Reply to: gigs-308870127@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-04-09, 1:46PM PDT


I'm in need of additional writers for my new retail web site. Prefer individuals interested in comics, comic strips, manga, graphic novels, dvds (anime, cartoons, etc) and general pulp culture, to write articles, newsletters or product reviews. Initial contribution will be voluntary but if quality and committement is there it could lead into a paying position.

• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: could lead to a paying position

Temescal Cafe

Just got the hardest look imaginable from a kid who can't be more than 8 years old. WTF?

Maternal Instincts has a home!

I worked my ass off on this throughout my second year at St. Mary's. I CARED about this story. And it's been rejected. A lot.

No longer. This morning, Tony Dushane over at CherryBleeds said yes.

David Sedaris fibbed? No diggety!

Check out Jon Carroll.

Davis smells like jasmine

And it's 80 degrees out. Yummy.

Am I really getting married? Holy hell, I think I am.

So you want to hire a freelance writer?

Great! First off, congratulations on being smart enough to know that good writing more than pays for itself. Good writing makes a great impression. Good writing sells.

A few tips for landing a good one:

- Know what you want before you go out looking for it. Don't post a vague ad. Don't hem and haw once you've got someone on the phone. Don't go back and forth with a thousand emails. Have a job description and be able to offer it in a succinct, specific way.

- Know how much you're willing to pay. Before looking to hire someone, do research as to current and reasonable rates. If for whatever reason you can't meet those, either (1) wait until you have the money to hire a writer; or (2) have a clear and specific incentive for a writer to take a reduced rate. These might include significant up-front payment, early payment, or other benefits. Don't expect a writer to reduce their rates because you drop phrases like "waiting for funding" or "non-profit project."

- Don't be shy about asking for work samples and references. A confident and professional writer should easily be able to provide you with both.

- Don't ask for an unpaid trial period. Don't ask them to write a "sample" for you without offering to compensate them for their time. A writer's samples should speak for themselves.

- Have assignments at the ready. Don't get to the point of hiring a freelancer and then say: "Uh, I don't have anything for you right now ..." Don't waste your time or theirs.

- Do take professional freelancers seriously. Value their time as you would your own. You'll be rewarded with a great employee and sharp copy.

Come as you are

But you may not be accepted that way.

It goes in both directions. I've learned -- in particular over the last year or so -- that you can't and shouldn't try to change people.

The flip side? Those people may just not be people you want to share a lot of time with.

It's tough. That means you lose a lot of old friends who you've outgrown, or who've outgrown you, or just all-around it ain't working with any more. Then again, maybe it's better that way.

You know you're from San Diego when ...

From my mom.

You know you're from San Diego when. . .

Your high school had a surf team

You can correctly pronounce Tierrasanta, La Jolla, Rancho Penasquitos, San
Ysidro, Otay Mesa, Jamacha, Jamul, Cuyamaca, and El Cajon

There are four distinct seasons: Summer, Not Quite Summer, Almost Summer,
and Oh Hey Look Its Summer Again

Chula-juana is a real town.

Your house is worth more than some small countries

You know what MB, OB, and PB stand for

You see weather forecasts for four different climate zones, all in the San
Diego County, and aren't remotely surprised.

You've gone to Mt. Helix in July and known you still need a jacket

You've tailgated at Qualcomm Stadium, and for bonus points, also tailgated
when it was Jack Murphy Stadium and you know you'll need a jacket or sweater
at night in the summer

You have a favorite- the Wild Animal Park or the Zoo

You've seen an Imax movie at the Reuben H. Fleet Science Center

You still call it the Del Mar Fair

You say "I'm going to the track" and people know what you mean

You understand what May-Gray and June-Gloom is

A famous skateboarder/surfer lives in your town

There's a North County, a South County, and an East County but no Central
County just "The City"

You know what it means when two guys are walking in Hillcrest

You know what it means when a girl in a short skirt is walking on El Cajon
Blvd

You've gotten stuck in the Horton Plaza parking structure traffic after a
Padres game

You know what "The Merge" is and will plan your entire day around not being
on it during rush hour
You've been to Belmont Park

You've taken the Coaster and laughed at people sitting in traffic on the 5

You know the difference between Clairemont Mesa, Kearny Mesa, Mira Mesa and
Serra Mesa
You've gone to Sea World on a warm day and sat in the first few rows at the
Shamu Show to get cooled off

You've been delayed at the Border Checkpoints on the 5 and the 15

You know it's San Diegan, not San Diegoan, or San Diegoite

Everyone has their favorite beach

No matter what the weather is, there is always someone walking around in a
t-shirt, shorts, and flip flops
You live on, near or are surrounded by hills

You laugh when tourists are confused because they can't remember which place
they are trying to locate: Escondido, Encinitas or Ensenada . .. . they
just know it's one of those "E" words

You have family and or friends that have moved to Arizona

You used to, and sometimes still ride the carousel at Seaport Village

You know someone who apparently doesn't own a pair of long pants, and have a
neighbor who doesn't seem to own a shirt
You know what Santa Ana's are, and that they have literally nothing to do
with the city of Santa Ana

If the menu doesn't have California burritos on it, forget it, its not real
Mexican food

If you're NOT from San Diego.... That sucks