I think you have to get there organically, whatever the hell that means. I guess what I mean by that is that no one else can tell you where to go with it, how to feel, or where you draw the line. I think I just hit this point today where I was like -- no. I don't have unlimited time. I don't have unlimited energy. I want to believe I have both, but I have neither. It saddened me, but it also woke me up. All the repeated things I do, the things I grumble over, the things I dread or come close to regretting -- they don't have to happen. Hand-washing underwear where there's been a potty accident, yes. I just did that. That's a given. The things that are taking my life away cell by cell -- that's a different story. But you have to get to a certain place with it. I don't know that there's any controlling it.
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