Adam's mom was making us laugh at dinner the other night with a story about the Sambo's restaurant in Santa Barbara. Apparently when you walk in, you're greeted by two watermelons. Beautiful. Never did make it down there when I was going to school in SB.

I like Susan, Adam's dad's girlfriend. She's over the top, like my mom, and like my mom she can be a little much at the first meeting. (But I like that too, actually.)

But yeah, I like her. I like the fact that she asked about me tonight. I like the fact that the last time I saw her, the minute I walked into Adam's dad's townhouse, she was full of questions: What are you writing? When are you performing next? How are the wedding plans? Lots of interest. I like that.

It feels good, makes me feel like part of the family.

Christopher Waters, a Republican?

Who would've ever suspected such a thing from the owner of the uber-green (and very yummy, albeit extremely busy) Nomad Cafe?

Okay, so he's not a Republican ... not yet.

But check this out. From the East Bay Express:

Around 7 a.m. on New Year's Day, "I called OPD emergency dispatch to confirm that the cafe had been broken into. ... The dispatcher kindly and regretfully informed me that the response time would be slow due to several murders and shootings that were in the queue." Waters says that, what with several stickups at Pizza Plaza and Jump'n Java, local business owners "are all wondering if and when the time is going to come that we decide we have to leave this town behind, before it makes Republicans out of us."

He theorizes that the area's being hit because, "finally succumbing to community and police pressure, the Uptown Market at Aileen and Shattuck finally installed eight security cameras and began actively dissuading their resident thugs from loitering and plying their drug trade there. This has made the usual suspects feel unwelcome and they have begun migrating back up toward, and above, Alcatraz. It's a shame that the best we have been able to do so far is continue kicking these people back up and down Shattuck Avenue."

The Bay Area's been making a conservative -- though hopefully not a Republican -- out of me for a while. The vague, let's-coddle-them social policies around here sometimes turn my stomach. (See my earlier rant on the proposed Oakland Ambassadors, the brainchild of Jane Brunner, who would have these would-be thugs standing sentinel at BART stations to walk little old ladies home from the train.) Common sense, people, please.

My friend Dave said a while back: "Conservatives think it all comes down to personal responsibility. Liberals think it's all about environment." I'm pretty firmly on the side of personal responsibility. It's Momma Thug's job to teach her little thuglet to, well, not be a thuglet. You can social-program until you're blue in the face and you're still going to have these little shits kicking in Christopher Waters' door. Not to mention perpetrating the far worse crimes that delayed the cops' response time on New Year's Day.

This makes me think about an incident I saw at the San Diego airport while waiting for my flight home this afternoon. A kid, probably about two years old, was throwing a hissy. I mean, it was a complete shit-fit. Her mother just threw up her hands and stood over her, waiting for the kid to calm down.

Now I'm a hypocrite, since I have never had and most likely never will have children, but I absolutely don't believe in permissive, passive parenting. Pick the kid up, swat her on the ass, and be on your merry way. You let a two-year-old rule you, and you might wind up being proud of their one accomplishment: Successfully getting away with robbing the Nomad. 'Nuff said.

Catherine on love

"Love is nothing. You need so much more than love to make it work. Sometimes I think about love and I'm like, blah! I just want to shoot that."

From Adam

Why are people so dumb, and why am I not allowed to shoot them? Life is so unfair.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

More Clinton Young stuff

I requested my medical records chart from this douchebag's office so I can give it to my new doctor. He's charging me $25 for the privilege of having it copied. I can't wait to get the damn chart and then give him a piece of my mind. Like he's going to care, I know, but still. Talk about substandard medical care, and ridiculously expensive to boot.

San Diego

Adam and his mom are headed back to LA. I'm glad I could be there for both of them during what was probably a bit of a trying time. No one likes doctor's appointments.

Now at Lestat's, chilling out, drinking iced tea, and intermittently working. And I got to see Parker today! I'm crazy about that dog.