Me and my dude

 Adam's graduation from Cal State East Bay, 2011.

The Haight, also 2011.

Singing TV theme songs at Pacific Bay Brewing Company, also 2011. What's with 2011?

Stanza

Late night/early morning thought

I wish there were genuine love between me and Adam's family. Instead, there's barely restrained tension. I want to say fuck it, but that seems too cavalier. Things won't change and I have other priorities. 

From THREESOME

“Why did you do that?”

“I don’t know,” I say, and it’s the most truthful thing I’ve said all day. We don’t always act out of awareness. We don’t always do things for a purpose. Sometimes we strike out at the world, at life, fumbling blindly in our own personal dark for reasons we can’t even express to ourselves.

Was that why Katie’s killer did what he did? Did he need a reason for taking my daughter, our daughter, away from the world?

Yes. Yes, goddammit, he did and he does. There has to be a reason that things happen. If there isn’t a reason, then I’m fucked. We’re all fucked. We’re all swimming in muck for no reason until someone plucks us out and chucks us in the trash can. I want to, need to, have to believe that there is a purpose for things to happen as they do.

65 pounds down

Rainy day

Holed up in a cafe in Jack London Square.

Editing.

Listening to Hall and Oates.

Yeah.

Jack, sunset