I saved Rufus the dog

It cost $143 and a phone call. He was scheduled to be euthanized on Nov. 10 -- an eight-month-old puppy -- and I just couldn't watch it happen. I cried when I told Adam about it. It means the world to me to be able to pick up a phone and pull out some plastic and save someone's life. If you're anywhere near Pinal County Animal Services, please consider adopting Rufus. This one's on me.

Why I left my writer's group

Wednesdays used to be Homework Club. I'd go hang out in Sean's studio and we'd talk the written word.

Then I left. 

I didn't leave in an honest way. I asked if I could be a "part-time" member. Then I just never came back.

Why?

I often felt as though I didn't fit in. The guys liked to talk about music I didn't know and didn't like, authors who I'd never heard of, and just philosophy in general that I couldn't get behind.

They are not bad people. They just aren't the group for me right now.

ADDENDUM:

This feels like such a sketchy post to me, half-baked and only half-truthful. The fact is that I wanted to give this airspace, but I still am holding back on some of my truer feelings around it all. I will say, though, that by the end I grew to dread group, and I'm sure they could tell. We are probably all better off.

As seen on Facebook

A beheaded flamingo and the prime suspects of the crime.

Peaceful

I don't usually allow myself the luxury of peace. Peace to me is the ability to sit where you are and be okay with it. That means wherever you are. Sometimes it works and sometimes it's a nice idea.

I think peace is coming from getting my mojo back and getting things rolling in the right direction: Forward. Getting into Kimmel Harding again was, I hope, just the beginning.

I'm returning to Kimmel Harding!

I just found out that I'm going back to Kimmel Harding Nelson Center for the Arts, which honestly has been my favorite retreat thus far. It's perfect for me: A mix of solitude and access to the rest of the world, a cute little town with totally sweet people. I met great folks at KHN and can't wait to go back again!

Family stuff

I have two brothers. I'm close to one, not so close to the other. The not-so-close one is getting married and has decided that he wants to resurrect family relations, starting with our other brother who he's barely spoken to in 19 years.

Excuse me, what?

Just because YOU'RE getting married doesn't mean that everyone else needs to forget all the shit you've pulled in the past and join hands happily. Especially because you're not going to keep it up.

Okay. Rant over, for now.

Missing

I was up late last night crying about Oliver. I hadn't cried about him in a while. I think about him every day, but I don't cry all that often any more. Last night I did. Last night I cried until my eyes were sore and my nose ran. I relived every one of his last moments, the way we held him, the way both Adam and I cried.

But in a way it wasn't so much about him as about the dogs. I know how it went with Oliver and it went well. Yes, he died, but he died at an extremely advanced age, surrounded by love, with nothing wrong with him except for the fact that he was really damn old.

The dogs? They scare me, and my love for them scares me. Nothing can happen to them. I won't let it.