As of Feb. 6, Adam and I will have been married for twenty-two months. In that time, I have never regretted playing the wedding low-key. I'm sitting next to this couple and their Wedding Guest spreadsheet at a cafe and it's giving me a stomachache just listening to all this crap. They're spending $20,000 on one frigging event. What, is she going to match her tampon to his?
I do feel superior because I wasn't a damn bridezilla, because I didn't push my husband away with my whininess and demands before he even put the ring on my finger. I feel superior because we are not in debt up to our eyeballs for a single day, and because we stayed friends with all two of our vendors: Luke, our photographer, and Russell, our caterer.
I want to turn to them and tell them -- her especially -- that being married is so much better than getting married. I wonder if they'd listen.
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