October 9, 2013
The
anxiety is back. Went down to the Pioneer Saloon for breakfast and am having
trouble settling in back by myself. I have a weird lump in my throat. I should
go outside, but I feel glued to the chair. Slept at 10:30 p.m., woke at 1 a.m.,
couldn sleep again until nearly 5 a.m. Woke at 6:30 a.m. for sunrise, fell back
asleep until 8:30 a.m. Just went outside for a minute. “Blue Bayou” on iTunes.
Being alone has never been terribly easy for me and yet it’s situational. I’m
an introvert, but too much alone time makes me a bit crazy.
Met
Rachel’s dog Pepper yesterday. What a sweetie. I miss my pups. I hope they’re
behaving themselves. It’s me and the writing now. I’m up against it. But it’s
not a battle. It’s – I don’t know what it is. But it’s not a battle.
October 11, 2013
Yesterday
was busy! Went to Bend and then had a residents’ dinner. Bend was okay. It felt
very manufactured, a lot like Ashland. I guess I’m used to Berkeley. Tonight we’re
going to the Paisley Saloon. My computer blue-screened, but (knock wood) seems
okay. Coffee, 25 degrees out. Damn. I just went out and my bare feet are
stinging. Dumbass. Probably nine hours until I see another human being. Somehow
I’m okay with that. I’m happy that I’m okay with the solitude.
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