The first step

Once we have become teachable, we can give up old thought and behavior patterns which have failed us in the past, beginning with our attempts to control our eating and our weight. Honest appraisal of our experience has convinced us that we can't handle life through self-will alone. First we grasp this knowledge intellectually, and then finally we come to believe it in our hearts. When this happens, we have taken the first step and are ready to move ahead in our program of recovery.

- The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous


I think they're right in the sense that admission begins in the brain and moves eventually to the heart. I've always known I had a problem with food, but I didn't know it where it counted. These three weeks since the surgery are working to change that. Stripped of my usual defenses, I am carb- and caffeine-less. I have way more energy, though I do tend to crash because I'm still recovering from the surgery.

I seem to be reaching for a grand conclusion here and there is none. There is only continuing.