Thursday, December 21, 2017

And they're off

I'm a bachelorette for the weekend. Walzwerk with Joseph tonight; three different sets of plans tomorrow. Saturday I might be a hermit and just hang by myself, and then Sunday they're home.

I go down maybe once a year. Twice if pressed. I'll just own my side of the dynamics here. I went into the relationship hoping that I would love my in-laws as much I love Adam, that I could have the kind of parental connection I've always wanted.

It didn't happen.

So I did a total 180, decided if I wasn't going to love, then I would hate. I went cold and angry, brutal. I think I confused the hell out of them. From there it just got worse, and colder, and more distant.

From my perspective, they didn't care about us. I felt that it was all about them. Whether or not that is true, I could have responded more skillfully. Instead, here we are.

Fuck it. It's German food tonight.

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