This is what I'd say to them if only I actually wanted to engage:
Good morning, shitheads. First off, thank you for dropping the door on me as you walked in this fine freezing morning. Etiquette isn't all that important, is it? Then you act like this fucking Alameda Starbucks is your personal bar ("Sara! Put it on my tab!") and then yammer about golf at a volume better suited for the Coliseum.
You deserve the guy spanging you right now, fuckers.
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