“There
you are,” Adam said. He was holding Baz’s hand. In that moment I resented the shit out of them. I would love to say
that I had no idea why, to play innocent, but that would be a bunch of
bullshit. Fact was, I knew exactly why I felt as I did. They represented a
beloved blockage. Because they existed, because they were such a bulwark of my
life, I couldn’t play around like I wanted to. I couldn’t randomly screw some
dude just cause. I couldn’t decide to
spend six months in the Czech Republic without even being able to point it out
on a map, without realizing that it was not and had not been Czechoslovakia for
years.
I
couldn’t live as if life ultimately didn’t matter, because like the Velveteen
Rabbit, love had made it real.
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