James Baraz on connection with others

Forgiveness works both ways. Sometimes we do something that hurts others that we later regret. Other times we’re on the receiving end of others’ hurtful words or actions. Until we’re able to come to some resolution about either of these, we spend lots of energy either in guilt or anger. Forgiveness is what frees up that energy and allows our hearts to open to life and greater well-being. When we’ve been humbled by our own unskillful actions and need to ask forgiveness, our own humanness can be a springboard toward forgiving others. Here are some forgiveness practices that I would encourage you to try with anyone you would like to resolve an unresolved conflict. 

A note of caution: You might not be ready to forgive a deep hurt or trauma. Don’t judge this or try to go anywhere you’re not ready to go. Forgiveness has its own timetable. If you can’t yet forgive another and you wish you could forgive, that’s a start. Feel the wholesome intention in that. And forgive yourself for just being where you are right now.