With autumn closing in

This is the hardest time of year for me. The move from summer to fall is a killer. The shorter days, the leaves blowing around in the Indian-summer wind ... it's hard for me to take.

Depression is something you have to monitor all the time. When you feel your mood start to slip, you've got to be aware of it and how to take care of yourself around it, as a therapist might say. And although I'm doing all right at the moment, I know things can change.

I'm thinking of the lines from Bob Seger's "Night Moves":

Ain't it funny how the night moves
When you just don't seem to have as much to lose
Strange how the night moves
With autumn closing in


Yep.

A second chance

There is a dog in Miami who has had my heart for the last day or so. Melody is an American bulldog whose big heart and sweet nature need a home. And it looks like she may be getting one! Never doubt that the internet -- and people -- can make a difference.

Plucking

The simple life -- it's up to me

In a way, I live a relatively stripped-down life: I don't commute to go to work, I wear thrift-store clothes for the most part, I have a secondhand car and a one-bedroom cottage.

I also have a plethora of technology: a laptop, an iPhone, and ... okay. That will do for now.

When I say I'm looking for a simpler, more pure life, what does that mean?

I want to meditate more. This is solely up to me. I want to travel more. Okay, that's not totally up to me, and I'm not sure thousand-dollar airline tickets constitute more simplicity and purity. Maybe I just want to see India.

I'm thinking of becoming a vegetarian. This probably won't happen, though. It's important to get protein, particularly after Lap-Band surgery, and although I do like meat substitutes, somehow the real thing feels more protein-y.

So what the hell am I doing to make life more simple? Maybe I'm just taking one step at a time.

A year

Oliver passed away a year ago tomorrow. There is not much I haven't said before about this, but I just want to say I love you, Bear, and I always will.

Return of the students

Three cafe tables taken up by a single person, moaning and whining on the cell phone about how the underwater basket weaving class is sooooo hard. Yes, the students are back, and Berkeley will feel their presence until they take off for Sunnyvale or Agoura Hills in May.

I too have been a student, and I'm sure I was just as obnoxious as these brats. To the denizens of Santa Barbara from 1992-1996: I am sorry.

Chuck that editor out of the room

I've been having trouble writing for the last few days -- okay, maybe a week or so, give or take -- and I'm realizing why. My expectations for myself are very, very high. I want to write something clean. And this is really driving down my productivity.

They say throw the editor out. I'm trying to push her away for now, but she keeps lingering in the door frame. Enough, bitch. Out.