Yesterday at Milano Pizza, this guy was getting up from his table to leave and swinging his huge messenger bag everywhere. He hit Adam several times with it. When he finally realized it, he clapped Adam on the shoulder and said: "Sorry, man. I'm just that kind of person."

He reminds me of KFOG, our not-so-beloved neighbor, who before he (mercifully) switched apartments would serenade us not only with his radio station of choice but his super-loud, ultra-stoned cell phone conversations (I love you, man, I totally have your back). Then every time he'd see us, he'd smile big and say: "Hi, guys! Hey, sorry about the noise! Let me know any time!"

People, a smile and an apology isn't as good as thinking before you act. Sometimes I wish I could move to Alaska, where there are far fewer people, but I hear the cafes suck up there and it's cold sometimes.