Repeat this to yourself

You cannot change other people.

When you know someone, you know what you can expect from them. Don't expect this to radically shift.

Adam and I have been talking a lot about the people who just disappear into relationships. Oh, you may still see them. It's not about frequency, really. It's about who they seemed to be and who they let themselves become, and how aggressive they become when you call them on it.

When he and I first got serious, I was summarily dumped by a long-term friend who, I think, decided I was boring because I was happy. If that's the case, David, then fuck you very much and I hope you get your tacos on your own from now on.

Another friend told me I was no longer "crazy." Again, if that means I'm happier and more sane, I'm better off for it.

I changed, sure. I was less accessible, yes. I didn't run for the phone every time it rang. But I did call back. And if a friend needed something, I was there. I may not be there at the exact moment they called or emailed. But I made sure to be there.

You cannot change other people. You know who they are and what to expect.

It's true. Fucking frustrating, but true.