Parker

Two weeks before Adam's and my wedding, my youngest brother's dog Parker was hit by a car and killed.

You have to understand the role that my brother plays in our family. Everyone adores Jonathan. He's just that kind of guy. Adam in particular loves him and has since long before he and I started dating. Jonathan's pain was also ours.

I loved Parker's strength, spirit, and goofiness. I adored how he worked a crowd and would get everyone in the room to pay attention to him. Most of all, I loved what he brought out in Jonathan: signs of a maturing man, someone who would make a terrific father despite (or perhaps because of) our upbringing. My brother could give Parker a single look or a low-key command and the dog would sit immediately, looking at him with rapture in his eyes.

But Parker wasn't 100 percent well trained. He was physically powerful and totally willful. The night he died wasn't the first time he'd escaped, but it would be the last.

They were having a party. People were coming in and out. The door opened and Parker made a break for it. It was all over in an instant.

Four cars went to the emergency vet hospital. That's how valued my brother is within his social circle. They all felt as though they'd lost someone dear to them.

Adam and I were leaving Dave's when we got the news. I was in no condition to drive and so he was behind the wheel. I felt my cell phone vibrate and saw it was my mother. I heard phrases like J just called me crying and car and Parker is dead.

Parker is dead. That just wasn't possible. My mother's cat had died that winter. He got cancer and one rainy month later he was gone. But this was March. Two days ago winter gave way to spring and Adam and I went to Point Reyes, looking for the wildflowers that hadn't yet arrived. This was a time of renewal and growth. This was no time for a dog to die.

We moved carefully that night and the next day, cautious of the broken edges. There was that specter: loss. "How do we do this?" I asked Adam. "How do we get married and move forward when at any time it could be taken from us?"

He answered like a true Jew: With another question. "What choice do we have?" he said.