Friday, May 29, 2009

Writing group got a bit heated last night, more so than at any other time since we started meeting in February.

The only thing I could do was to be as straight-up as possible while at the same time trying not to step on toes. Did that work? I can only see it from my perspective.

This group has done great things for my work and I've known them for years. Last night kind of sucked, frankly, but I guess it's bound to happen.
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2 comments:

robp said...

Heated is not necessarily bad. Uncomfortable at the time, sure. Wasn't aware you tried not to step on toes. Subtle as a flying mallet. Anyway, the intent is to resolve issues. Sometimes that gets more personal than any of us want. It doesn't change the fact that we're all friends. If it leads to confrontation, makes us deal with shit that we don't necessarily want to but now have to, so be it.

We're friends who can critique each others' writing, and sometimes things get taken personally. Well, if the writing isn't personal we're all fucked anyway, and it would be weird if none of the critiques were ever taken personally.

What I don't see here is bullshit. People say what they feel. This is neither democracy nor autocracy, it's friends coming together. Maybe it won't always feel like we're coming together. The purported basis for the group is to improve our writing, but it's social as well. It's a combination that rarely leads to major conflict.

If someone gets pissed off and says why, and there's a response... I mean, this shit's gonna play out. We have personal interactions and writer/editor interactions. I was surprised by how things played out Thursday, but I didn't think it sucked.

I think this is us. We've each chosen others we can work and play with. We know each other well enough that nothing needs to be held back. So when there's a conflict we don't have to waste our time with numerous weeks of someone suppressing what they feel about what's wrong. Anyway, I hope not.

It's been good, it will be good, and what kind of relationship has no bumps in the road? Cheers, A, no matter what happens I think everyone in this is there for each other.

May 30, 2009 at 10:18 AM
Allison Landa said...

Could be that I equated uncomfortable with sucky. Strange for me, as I do tend to see conflict as the best and most honest way to resolve differences (at least, most of the time), but true.

I don't have good friends with whom I haven't fought, so that's telling. If I don't know what you're like when you're angry/upset/pissed off, I don't know you.

The lack of bullshit is beyond refreshing. Why do you think you guys see all the personal shit that I can't believe I'm writing? As you said, we're friends as well as a group, which helps beyond words.

Rock on, cheers, etc., right back at you.

May 30, 2009 at 12:32 PM

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