We were at the Cal-Neva Circle Bar tonight. I had two drinks, which if you know me means you understand that there was the green glow coming out of my split skull. In other words, the big mouth had just gotten bigger.
Next to us sat a middle-aged couple with wedding rings that didn't match. They were in that process. You know that process. It usually ends up with her Maybelline on his pillow.
They were pissing me off.
Okay. I've only been married for a year, so you can say, sure, Allison, check back with me after twenty years. And what I'll almost certainly tell you is that there's been frustration and temptation along the way. I will also tell you that there will have been very difficult conversations with Adam about this. And I will conclude by saying that there are many unsavory acts of which I may be capable, enjoying Britney Spears among them, but I will never cheat.
I headed for home base on my Singapore Sling and we prepared to leave. I told Adam: "I'm going to do something you don't like, so you can leave before I do it."
He knew my plan exactly. As he left the bar, I turned and yelled: "I hope your spouses are okay with this!"
As we were drunkenly eating peanuts in the arcade, I realized I should've made some crack about Viagra. Nobody's perfect.
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