A few weeks ago, Adam and I sat at Ritual Roasters on Valencia, whiling away time before Monday Night Marsh. I started wondering aloud if I should go to the Practice in Difficult Times retreat at Spirit Rock. Even though I was signed up, I wasn't sure -- it would be four days away from home, which in itself is okay, but as a silent retreat, I would not even have the opportunity to talk to Adam by phone or email. Given my other commitments this summer (all in all, I'll be gone more than a month and a half), I decided against it.
The way he hugged me said it all.
That's an example of a partnership decision. Were I single, I would jump at the opportunity to go hang out at Spirit Rock for four days. (Though granted, I may have had a lot of trouble with some aspects of the retreat, namely getting up at 5 am and possibly sharing a room with a stranger.) But as a single person, I would have only myself to consider.
That's not the case, and I'm glad.
That's not to say I still don't make individual decisions. I certainly do, and sometimes those decisions aren't particularly easy. I still make them, though.
But in the case of the retreat, which starts tomorrow, being with my husband is more important than four days of meditation practice. Another time.