Jenn and Jeff had us over for dinner last night. At one point Adam's phone rang: Berkeley, trying to suck some alumni money out of him. They call every fucking day and he just ignores them. They called during our fucking wedding. Fortunately, the damn thing was on silent.

Last night it rang and I grabbed it.

POOR UNDERGRADUATE FUNDRAISING GIRL: Uh, can I speak to Adam Sandler ...
ME: Actually, he's in jail.

I cracked up halfway through, but I'd like to think she didn't get it.