Adam and I are going to a Memorial Day get-together, and I can guarantee you that there will be at least one Travel Douchebag there.

This is nothing against Yoko's choice of friends. We had a great time at her last party and I know this will be a repeat. She's got the awesome party setup, with the living room extending right into the backyard. I envy her that a bit -- the Farm's flow is less conducive to getting to the backyard as you have to either go through the kitchen or the bedroom, which usually has dirty laundry on the floor. But I digress.

I know Travel Douchebags. I have been one. You'll hear them coming before you see them. They're usually talking about Mongolia and welcoming natives.

I've gotten less, shall we say, permissive over time. My tongue is sharp. Artisan cheeses await. Let's go party.