Jesus Gets an Office Job

Adam and I were discussing this over email a year and a half ago. I just found it. This is what we came up with:

ME: Jesus Gets An Office Job. Discuss.
ADAM: Turns Folgers coffee into Blue Bottle.
ME: Turns KOIT into house music.
ADAM: Walks on TPS reports without his feet getting dirty.
ME: Arranges lunchroom tables so they always seat 13.
ADAM: Returns from unemployment after three days.
ME: Gets worker's comp for that gaping hole in his side.
ADAM: Wears a crown of that paper that can give you a really nasty paper cut.
ME: Betrayed by cube-mate.
ADAM: Of course, he's the son of the Big Boss.
ME: Winces when the frat guys talk about getting nailed.
ADAM: Never has to work on his birthday.
ME: He's in finance.
ADAM: Saves on the lighting bill by working off the glow from his halo.
ME: Considered rude because he refers to everyone as "my child."
ADAM: Fed an entire all-employee meeting with one baguette.
ME: Hates Mel Gibson movies.
ADAM: Always gets reminded to turn the volume down on the angels chanting.
ME: Doesn't take "yo mama" jokes well.