Missing

You know you miss your baby when a picture on Facebook -- two people in love, smiling -- can make you tear up.

I could not honestly chronicle this experience if I didn't talk about much I miss Adam. At first it was visceral, terrible. One of my first nights here we watched Heathers and every time Christian Slater and Winona Ryder hooked up, I wanted to cry.

There are people here for two months. There is no way I could handle that.

The other night Adam and I had a conversation about ordering pills for Oliver. It was one of the best conversations I've had in weeks. It linked me back in with life. It reminded me of the great real world. I miss them, Adam and Oliver both. I want to hold them, kiss my husband, bury my face in my kitty's fur. That feeling is very strong right now.

I know in a few weeks I will look back and say holy hell, I just spent a month at MacDowell! I am already awed at this experience and so grateful. That is not mutually exclusive with missing those I love.